Poker Night
by haveyounomercy
Summary: A night spent with the Allies is truly a night wasted.


**A/N I haven't posted anything in like, forever. XD And this one is so short, too~ It's pretty uh, strange. **

**Dedicated to sonofon, because it's too dangerous to talk to her when you have the urge to write. **

**Disclaimer: Let's be reasonable now, shall we?**

* * *

Alfred pushed his golden shades up his nose and squinted at everyone else at the table. Everyone was acting the same as they would at any other meeting.

Damn it, why were they all so hard to read?

"Oh my god, Arthur, you're orange!"

Arthur looked up indignantly. "What?" He took a sly peek at his skin just to make sure. "I am _not_ orange. It's just your shades."

Alfred grinned. "I know, aren't they awesome?"

"Calm down, _cheri_." Francis put a hand on top of Arthur's knee.

"Don't bloody touch me, Francis!"

"Thanks for giving these to me for half price, Yao. They're _so_ cool."

"No problem, aru."

"Let's just get on with the game, da?"

Everyone turned to look at Ivan, who was pleasantly stacking his chips into a neat little smiley face. He then brought his fist down upon the stacks, crushing it to pieces. "Poker is a silent game, is it not?"

Alfred sulked and took another glance at his cards. They weren't much but...

"You do know we can see your bloody cards in the reflection of your glasses, right?"

"_Angleterre_! Did you have to spoil it for all of us?"

"Shut up, frog! It's bothering me!"

"It's true, Alfred."

"Eh? Is that why I'm losing so much today?"

"You _always_ lose at Poker Night, aru. This isn't much of a surprise."

"But I can't take them off!"

"Why not? Wouldn't it make more sense, da?"

"But they're my special _poker glasses_! I bought them just for tonight! You know that we only have Poker Night once a month."

"And for good reasons."

"I heard that, Yao! Well I think that Poker Night is a wonderful event. What about you, Ivan?"

"It is nice, da."

"Good lord stop trying to play footsies with me, Francis!"

"Don't flatter yourself, _Angleterre_. My foot was merely itchy."

"So you decided to rub it against mine?"

"It would be nicer if those two could shut up though, da."

"Agreed, aru."

"Wait! If I shove the cards up and behind my shades like this... There! Now you can't see it!"

"...You look _so_ stupid, Alfred."

"Shut up, eyebrows."

"How many times do I have to tell you that these are--"

"Oh, give it a break _cheri_."

"I will _not_, Francis!"

"...Ivan, are you stealing chips from Alfred?"

"They want to be one with Russia, da."

"Don't tell me this is about Bingo Night, aru."

"I had it first, da. He just had the louder voice."

"Aiyah."

"And I think I look pretty dashing, if I do say so myself."

"You can't even see past your cards, let alone your bloody self."

"Shut up, Arthur. I know you're just jealous."

"Of _what_?"

"My slender eyebrows."

"Oh for the love of god--"

"SHUT. UP. aru."

This time it was Yao who made the Allies shrink. "Can we at least _try_ to be a bit more peaceful, aru?"

They all nodded sullenly and Ivan smiled as he won yet another hand, his stack of chips growing steadily higher. Yao made sure to keep his chips far away from the Russian.

* * *

"...P-p-p-poker face p-p-poker face~ P-p-p-poker face p-p--"

"...For fuck's sake, Alfred--"

"Language!"

"Don't fucking 'language' me, Francis. If this guy starts to sing then so help me I'll... I'll do something very bad."

"--I wanna hold them like they do in Texas Plays--"

"Sounds terrifying, _cheri_."

"Shut _up_, Francis!"

"--and after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart--"

"And you too, Alfred! Don't you know better than to sing that _horrible_ song?"

"Did you just insult Lady Gaga?"

"She's not even a bloody Lady!"

"Woah there. Do _not_ insult the Gaga, man. Just because she looks better in drag that you doesn't mean--"

"OH, JUST SHUT _UP_."

"...mum mum mum mah."

"ALFRED--"

"Hey, that wasn't me!"

Everyone turned to look at Ivan. He tilted his head and pointed at the one sitting next to him.

"Can'treadmypokerface."

"...I'm sorely disappointed in you, Yao."

"Hey, don't look so embarrassed, buddy! Everyone here loves the Gaga!"

"Isn't she dating Matthieu?"

"Wait what?"

"Well, I was reading _Star_ and--"

"You read _Star_?"

"Is there something wrong, _Angleterre_?"

"..."

"Hm?"

Arthur sighed once before putting his head in his hands. "...No."

"Good. So, as I was saying, I was reading _Star_--"

"It's almost midnight, da."

"Aiyah, we've only played four hands in three hours?"

"It seems so, da."

"Maybe we should ban Poker Night to once a year, aru."

"Ah, but it's where I get my vodka money every month."

"Does this mean you always cheat in Poker Night?"

"Only when I sit next to Alfred, da."

"...You _always_ sit next to Alfred, Ivan."

"And you always spike the punch in Disco Night."

"...Fair enough, aru."

"Alfred, _cheri_, you should probably take those cards out now. It's time for a new hand."

"Woah, Arthur!"

"What _now_, Alfred?"

"You're _still_ orange!"

* * *

For the Lady Gaga/Matthew joke, her boyfriend's name is Matthew Williams. 8D (okay so apparently I read a fake article.)

Edit: _Never trust sonofon. _NEVERRRRR.


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